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Oct. 20th, 2007 @ 09:09 am twas a comforting desturbing dream
Current Mood: calmcalm
I dreamed he was there and i folded my hands in his top and breathed in the scent of him. but something was wrong and he wouldn't tell me, just made all my problems go away by holding me close and wrapping me in his scent.  pure bliss.
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Jul. 1st, 2005 @ 04:28 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: coldcold
for a long while i have deserted this journal, there were ichy feelings in its creation, a hate of others and myself that i had to write about until it was contaminated by those i hated. so i hid it away again and spewed it up in my stories of pain, hate and death. pain hate and death.

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but now i write again and i write of more pain.

but hey thats life

its

made

up

exisit

PAIN
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Jun. 18th, 2005 @ 02:51 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: sadUpset
Blah Blah Blah

or Bah Bah Black Sheep

left to rot on the side again.

just left to rot.
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May. 24th, 2005 @ 10:52 am (no subject)
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
So TAssy on the wseekend!!!

HOw awesome it was. both of us were filthy rich and so we booked into a very nice hotel. and much "fun" was had... well yeah, so nice. went to the market on saturday, ate heaps of market food, and wandered up and down the rows, tassy is so small, Rob "bumped" into like 11 of his mates in less then 2 hours. freaky as. So i have met all the rabble, adn they are all very cool. Sunday we checked out then went and had the biggest breakest out at ZUM, a place where a friend named rundle works. STAR WARS was seen next, both of us were alittle disapointed, so had to have fish and chips covered in gravely. bummed around the docks, in which i succeded in pulling my boys back muscles.. oppps.

at salamanca there was this mug store with names on them, we didn't but we should have bought the mugs that said Old tart and toyboy.

He is stayign at my house thursday-monday, coz his mother is kicking all the boys out of th ehouse and having a girls weekend.

I=pod should arrive today. got called yesterday, but both roba nd i were at chaddy eating more food.

hope to have our film developed of tassy when i get payed.

yeap thats all
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May. 17th, 2005 @ 10:36 am Friend, companion, lover, mate
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Yesterday, Rob and I were lying on bed, i was showing him my new bed covers, yes its very exciting i have new bed covers. when he said

"you know...i've been thinking...."

"what"

"well you know i was thinking about our relationship..."

"yes"

"and, i was htinking that we are not just boyfriend and girlfriend, you know...we are really good friends."

how cute is that? to which i said yes, we can tell each other anything and not worry about the other going off in a sulk and if we do it is a playfull sulk, that ends in much play and rumbling.

its nice, i didn't have to be intorduced to the family, i already new them....hahahaah

though i don't htink amelia likes me any more...she is one unhappy grumpy bitch. no fun in her life i can tell you.
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May. 12th, 2005 @ 03:27 pm A constant smile graces my face
Current Mood: lovedloved
you know when someone says are you in love? well everytime someone said that before i have said no, i am not in love. Everytime my mother said "but you love him" it was easy to say. "mother no, i feel nothing." grandma again "No grandma i am not in love."

but know it is abit different, i can't say that, truthfully, i never really lie, i mix enough truth into my lies to make it difficult to tell truth from fiction. I omit things, there are many ways to love, but this is new to me, previously i'd go a week, more withour contact, pysical or by phone, now i can't go a day without at least a conversation. it is very very tragic. more so then anything i have done in the past.

he's taking me out to dinner this saturday, he and his Godfather Chris are finding the place he's gonna take me. i am very excited, no one has ever taken me out to dinner before. i discribe my family like a den of wolves or dogs, we are pack and they have accepted my mate... which is good, dog fights can get ugly.
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May. 9th, 2005 @ 10:51 am and side back replace cha cha cha
Current Mood: lovedloved
Mum has ordered me that on the morrow i must go to the keymaker and have a key cute for the boy. I think mum really really really likes rob. he met the shit side of the family yesterday, that ended in home movies with me sitting in the bath singing some random song that just went on and on.

took sleeping tablets last night and fell asleep right before the end of NCIS, very unhappy, woke up face down on th econtrols with my glasses crumpled under my back. not a pleasant waking up. but someone had turned of the tv, how nice of them. so i have just woken up, feel like i have slept 1 million years and am going great!! Dancing classes tonight and hopefully see the boy sometime soon, he's taking me out to dinner on saturday night!! can't wait.
well i'm off to eat and watch and kill something, in whatever order

ps: we have more fish and they are very cute, in two weeks we are getting more, and the aquerium on chapel street fucking rox. they have a moray eel and a bird eating spider, rob and i are going to visit it again coz its too cool.
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May. 5th, 2005 @ 03:19 pm NEWS FLASH
Current Mood: coldColdly complacent
Do you wanna know something funny

my ex is a complete arsehole, this came to me when i was traveling home from uni with my now boyfriend. or as he puts it, he is a complete plank. i have never met a more selfish, proniod person in all my fucking life. i never really said anything against him, and wouldn't get drawn into convos about him, but now i open it to all seasons. anybody you are welcome to give him as much crap as you like. People respect people who help themselves.

And baby EVERY minute i was with you I FELT USED!!!

i actually feel better now.

never again was engraved on his present too, just as a reminder not to make friends with fucked up proniod people.
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Apr. 8th, 2005 @ 03:25 pm I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH
Current Mood: contentcontent
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
I’m only just beginning
To see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it’s strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I’m just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I’d like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I’d like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
And I’ve watched love pass you by
At times I think we’re drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides
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Mar. 29th, 2005 @ 03:50 pm Chocolate, CHOCO CHOCO CHOCO Chocolate
Current Mood: creativecreative
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Superstar sunnys are back in play!!!!

just for a distraction before work...
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